I have a friend who doesn’t know why, in a matter of seconds, she wants to leave wherever she is, whatever she’s doing, and teleport to a kinder memory.
A friend who doesn’t know how to explain herself because within minutes those closest to her, appear to be clad in masks of judgement.
A friend who knows she’s loved. Who knows it’s all in her head. A friend who can’t help herself.
A friend who breaks quite often.
A friend who cries easily.
A friend who either sleeps a lot, to avoid as much of human interaction as possible; or not at all, to keep the monsters at bay.
A friend who hates being inside those four walls, but the comfort of isolation is a horrifyingly beautiful thing.
A friend who doesn’t know how to apologise for her head. Or if she should apologise in the first place.
Is that reason enough?
“I’m sorry for today, my head was extra bitchy.”
My friend who won’t be taken seriously by the elders. Because “kids of today’s generation have learnt fancy words like anxiety, depression, hypertension.” “Blame their phones and their internet.” “Just excuses to gain attention.” “I feel bad for her parents.”
So many reasons to crawl back inside those four walls.
My friend, who doesn’t know how to talk about her mind to the ones she loves except maybe saying, “I have a friend…”